Well Beyoncé wasn’t there, so technically I went shopping with ‘Child. Anyway, here’s the story.
I’m from the Houston area originally and back in the day Destiny’s Child was our never-ending supply of black girl magic. I was just as addicted to that crack as anyone else. In 2000, the girls released their iconic single “Independent Women Part 1” for the Charlie’s Angels soundtrack. (I can’t imagine being so independent that it has to be addressed in two parts.)
Soon after the girls went on hiatus. In other words, Beyoncé moved on.
It was during this hiatus that I went shopping at The Galleria, Houston’s largest mall. I was a high school kid with two jobs, and I decided to treat myself by blowing all my money. First stop? A shoe store within my price range.
I was staring intently at a wall of decorative flats when someone politely tapped me on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, which one of these do you like better?”
I turned around and found myself face to face with Kelly fucking Rowland. Well, more like face to chest. She’s 5’8 and was in two different heels. One super cute. The other tacky as shit.
I panicked. Kelly has ALWAYS been my favorite. No disrespect to Bey. She’s just not my glass of lemonade. And Michelle, though lovely, always seemed very confused that she was in the group.
I looked into Kelly’s eyes, searching for the meaning of life. I couldn’t figure out why she would asked a high schooler in rattty Converse to give her style tips. but she seemed sincere. I realized that I’d been staring at her angelic face for a good 30 seconds, and should probably answer the damn question.
I pointed to the super cute heel with a shaky finger.
“I like that one. The other one seems kind of tacky to me.”
She glanced down at the monstrosity on her foot. It was one of those hologram pumps.
I felt kind of bad. Did I just tell Kelly Rowland she had tacky taste in shoes? Maybe. Was I lying? No. Girl, if you don’t want my 17 year old opinion don’t ask for it.
“Maybe you’re right. Thanks.” And then she smiled only as Kelly Rowland can.
“Kelly!” A voice cried out from the entrance of the store. We both turned in unison.
It was Michelle fucking Williams. My mouth dropped. Two of them?! If Beyoncé walked into that store, I was going to Lose My Breath. She walked up to us, smiled at me like who dis, and then looked down at Kelly’s feet.
“Hey Michelle. I’m almost ready. I’m going to get these.”
It was the pair that I had picked. Kelly Rowland listens to me y’all.
“Those other ones are cute too!”
Seriously Michelle?! What is with these women? Has Tina Knowles taught you nothing? Those shoes were hideous! Girl, you’re out the group.
Kelly went to the checkout counter while Michelle stood next to me and casually browsed the shoes. We didn’t say a word. Rude. Don’t act like you can use my expertise. She picked up a shoe, looked at the price, and put it back on the shelf like it was a hot potato.
Kelly walked back over with her bag. She was obviously ‘ret to go. She smiled at me again.
“Bye,” she said with a little wave.
And just like that, they were out of my life. To this day I have no idea why Kelly asked me what I thought instead of the people who worked there. Or why were all shopping at the same reasonably priced shoe store when two of us had grammys and the other worked at Baskin Robbins. I guess it’s hard out there for a Pip when Gladys goes solo. Or maybe she just likes a bargain. I can respect that.
Either way I hope she wore the shit out of those shoes. They were pretty cute.
P.S. The ones that Michelle put back for being too pricey? $49.99.