I’ve been dying to try a Choose Your Own Adventures live on stage. Well this weekend it finally happened! The theme? 90’s TV Show Christmas Special. I thought you might like to see how it went down.

And, luckily for us, the fabulous Steve Rogers took a few photos!

Off We Go!

First things first, we had to pick a show. The possibilities are endless as shit, so I narrowed it down just a smidge.

Family Matters or Saved By The Bell?

The audience chose Saved By the Bell, which let’s be honest – is the better choice.  Plus, I’m part Lisa Turtle on my mama’s side.

Getting read to take it to The Maxx

You gotta get people in the mood, so the show opened with a slightly modified version of the theme song. Nothing major, but I may have renamed the show Saved By the Jingle Bells. I mean, ’tis the season.

I’m Saved By Jingle Be-e-ells!

The episode was about the Christmas dance. Kelly was asked to go to by both Zack and A.C. Slater. A.C. and Jessie are on a break right now, what with her being in the substance abuse clinic and all. Kelly accepts Zack’s invite but then he spazzes out and forgets to buy her a Christmas present! It’s time to choose. Should Kelly –

Hide her disappointment behind her Bayside pom poms, toss her hair, and say, That’s ok Zack?


Unleash her uppity white girl rage, toss said pom poms, and tell A.C. she’d love to go to the dance with him?

You guessed it. Hell have no fury like a cheerleader scorned. Zack ends up taking Lisa to the dance. Their sexual tension is minimal, (even though they were dating in real life). Zack can’t keep his eyes off Kelly. It’s time to choose. Should Zack –

Go after Kelly, leading to a Slater/Morris dance battle?


Stay with Lisa, ya know his freaking date?

No one had Lisa’s back on this one. A dance off breaks out with A.C. serving some sick ballet moves (those arms though), but we all know who Kelly’s heart belongs to. Lisa is just happy to be featured in a subplot. What’s this? A musical performance by a celebrity guest? It’s time to choose.

Grammy Award Winning Artist Mariah Carey


Me? I mean ya know, technically. Shut, up! I’ve done stuff!

Nobody puts Mariah in a corner.

I’m shocked to say the people chose me. Ohmygawd, besties!  But, I decided to do a mash up rendition of “All I Want for Christmas.” I was Mariah until the notes got too high, and then I was me regretting doing the song in its original key.

Mariah taking a breather from the high notes, apparently to thump her boobs

Sidebar, but can we just take a moment to gush over the outfit? How cute is this Mariah realness? Did you see the boots!? I’m am the Ghost of Christmas YAAS!

Mariah, Mariah – pig squeals on fire.

The episode is coming to a close, but we’re missing one thing – a visit from Santa. No Christmas Special would be complete without his jolly ass. It’s time to choose.

Santa or Black Santa?

And yes, there is a right answer.

Y’all want San-ta or Sanna?

They done good! Black Santa did a parody rap to Snoop & Dre’s “Nuthin’ But a G Thang” and promised everyone cocoa butter and In Living Color episodes.

Rapping us up with Nuthin’ But a Black Santa Thang

 Long story short – all’s well at Bayside. 

Also, Black Santa might be packing.

The End.

The show went really well. Austin is full of talented and hilarious people. Special thanks to the brilliant Adrienne Dawes for putting HOOT for the Holidays together!  I hear there’s video coming, but I filmed a version of Nuthin’ But a Black Santa Thang” for you. Enjoy!

P.S. Let me know what you think of this choose your own adventure business. It might be cool to set some up online so you guys can play along. I’m all ears. Tell me what you want to see!

Happy Holidays, Snickerdoodles!