240 years ago America declared herself a strong independent woman and told Great Britain to suck it. Today I did the same thing Here’s 5 tips for writing your own declaration of independence.
I want share one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite ladies with you.
Girl, you’ve said a mouthful. Lucy was told she wasn’t pretty or talented enough to be a hollywood starlet. BUT she was the only actress at the studio willing to take a pie in the face. Lucy figured out how to use funny to her advantage. She is the first woman to run her own production company, was in the first interracial couple on television, and is “The First Lady of Comedy.” Baaad Bitch!
Alright. I’ll get off Lucy’s nuts, but we should all take a page out of her book (and America’s).
Sometimes enough is enough and you need the freedom to do your own damn thing.
Sometimes you need to be fearless, take a pie to the face, and blaze your own brilliant, unapologetic, path.
It’s time to free yourself from distractions, dive into your dreams full steam, and rewrite your story with a personalized pen. Here’s a a few tips brought to you by America, a red-headed screwball, and yours truly!
5 Tips For Writing Your
Personal Declaration of Independence
1. Every declaration needs a Preamble.
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
Hell of a start, America. This is where you’ll put your philosophy of life. What are your personal truths? What do you feel you owe yourself? What are you willing to cut a bitch over? Keep it short and to the point. It’s gotta be easy enough for fifth graders to memorize for a social studies test.
2. Write down all the bullshit you’re tired of dealing with.
This is referred to as the Indictment. The colonies were throwing shade at the king, but you can take this opportunity to unleash on anyone or anything that is keeping your from your freedom. Maybe Helen from work needs to learn to do her damn job. Maybe, Ricky should quit playing so much and just let you be in the show. Don’t be afraid to let it all out, and read some bitches to filth. They probably deserve it.
3. Denounce the foolishness.
America’s declaration refers to Britain as “Enemies in War, Friends in Peace.” In other words, we’re cool as long as you keep my name out of your mouth. Who or what is it that you officially want to declare freedom from? A bad relationship? A work place that doesn’t appreciate you? Cake? Make it very clear. I’m not sure how including a threat to your enemies thing will go, but that’s entirely your call.
4. Wrap it up, but finish strong.
America’s conclusion is something along the lines of, “You guys suck. We’re out. It’s not us, it’s most definitely you.”
Here’s where you put what you really wish you could say to these people. Think of this as the epic speech in an teen movie when the girl realizes that the guy hasn’t had her best intentions at heart. Or when Charlotte finally runs in Mr. Big after he left Carrie at the alter. You should want to slow clap yourself after writing this.
5. Sign your name really big at the bottom.
Shout out to John Hancock for not giving an F-U-C-K. He made sure that the king knew his name was all over that bitch. I respect that. Write your name as big as humanly possible. Get a whole new sheet of paper if you have to.
You may never ship your declaration across the ocean, but you should feel just as proud about signing it. This is your word, your bond, and your final say on the matter. Mic drop. Time to let your freedom flag fly!
Oh, don’t forget to design a flag.