Everyone wants a special baby in their life, but here are a few relationships you should definitely avoid.
1. He’s Just Not That Into You Baby
You hung out with this guy one time and instantly fell head over heels for his squishy face. You want to see him again, but now he won’t give you the time of day. He’s not too busy with work. He’s not playing hard to get. He’s just – not that into you. Don’t let it get you down, sister. You’ll find the right baby. Give yourself nine months, and then hop back into the scene.
2. On Again Off Again Baby
You and this kid are COMPLICATED. One minute you’re the most important person in the room, and the next he’s completely unimpressed with you stealing his nose. You deserve to know where you stand with this baby, but he’s certainly not willing to talk about it. Move on, woman.
3. Misogynist Baby
You’d like to think that we live in a day and age when women are equal to babies, but this little guy disagrees. He thinks your purpose is to cook his meals, clean up after him, and keep your peek-a-boo game on lock. This dude does not respect you. Do yourself a favor and find you a baby who’s ready to live in the 21st century.
4. I’m Always Right Baby
It takes a big man to admit when he’s wrong. Unfortunately, this guy is a big baby. You can’t eat the remote, Charles. Keith Richards IS still alive. The word is macaroni, not whatever you just said. This guy is more concerned with being right than being Mr. Right.
5. Always With His Boys Baby
You finally found that the baby that you’d like to spend your time with, and what does he do? Bring along his bros. Who does he think you are, a free daycare service? This is about the time that Erykah Badu would tell this guy to call Tyrone. You’re a one baby at a time kind of woman. Send this guy crawling.
6. Won’t Get Off His Phone Baby
This guy is such a millennial. If he’s not tweeting, he’s on snapchat. If he’s not on snapchat, he’s on instagram. There’s a whole world out there, baby! Not to mention, an amazing woman right in front of him. He’ll never appreciate either while his eyes and chubby fingers are glued to a screen. It’s time to send him a wake up call or text – whichever he prefers. You need someone in your life who’s all about the here and now.
7. Just out of a Relationship Baby
Mikey’s favorite teddy bear finally but the dust. He’s lonely, on the rebound, and thirsty for a new special someone. It may feel like you two have an immediate connection, but don’t be fooled. He’s just trying to fill a void and you’re the flavor of the week. You’ll never replace Beary Gordy, and you’ll never live up to him. Know that.
8. The Cry Baby
This guy has no control over his emotions. Relax, dude. How hard could your life possibly be? Your instinct will be to try to fix all his problems, but that’s not your responsibility. You’re not his mother! Cover your ears and walk away from this baby. Although, you might want to tell his Mom what’s up on your way out – just in case he pooped himself.
9. Wandering Eye Baby
This baby is all about the ladies. He’s charming, funny, adorable, and quick to make you feel like you’re the perfect match. Be on high alert! This little guy has no intention of settling down anytime soon. He’s smiling at women all over town, and he’s only got one thing on his mind – milk jugs.
10. Not Ready to Grow Up Baby
This baby has a serious case of the Peter Pans. He’s not willing to talk about the future or where he thinks your playdates are going. You’re a woman committed to her 5 year plan, and he hasn’t even developed object permanence yet. Do yourself a favor, and hold out for a baby that’s a little more mature.